www.hotclub.co.uk

At last talent, extensive knowledge and profound wisdom have been rewarded. I believe this section will completely revitalise the whole Hot Club genre. In all modesty, I can say I have a deep understanding and knowledge of every subject except Gypsy music and I am prepared to go to any lengths in order to help my fellow human beings receive the full benefit of my years of experience.

Zoot has obviously placed my column in the "Humour" section by mistake (drunk again I expect) but no doubt he will soon remedy that error.

I would also like to add that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail.

Mmm. So where do you stand on the old sparrow/snail argument?

Stamp on the snail and roast the sparrow. Tastes just like chicken.