Nigerian Selmer Scam???

[Birrelly Niblett]

Dear Dr,

Although i consider myself to be a usually astute judge of character, i confess that i am not sure about this recent email..(attached) which i received following my appearance on you tube (search for.. Thora Hird, Hessian undergarments and Haagen Das Ice cream). Perhaps dear Dr my judgement has been compromised because I want to believe. Please help.

Here is the email (abridged).

To Prof Birrelly Nibblett.
From Jonah M B Bilongbilongio

Dear Professor Nibblett,

Longtime me love you movie...also my whole family adore your Parisian stel pompe......boom chink de boom...

I write you beause you help me. Me am illigetimate son off Django renhurd..he come me mum many years back to Nigeria in 1976. He leave my mum only two things and now only one (following antibiotics\) this is original Sulmer Moccachinoferri... which i want to give to you. pleese wire money transfer for post and packanging for $20,000 USD.

I love you play and no that he would want you to have dis. Pleas dont offend me by ask picture...this genyine.

Ps (if no reply I ask Jonny No 1)


Dr, could this man be telling the truth?

Yours truly.

[Teddy Dupont]

Hello Prof. I haven't seen you since that unfortunate incident with the string vest and iced doughnut in Claridges. It's great to have another academic on the forum to lift the tone and gravitas of the place.

This is tricky one though. I've spent a lot of time analysing the contents of your letter from Mr Bilongbilongio. On face value, it looks completely authentic but on second reading I did notice a few minor grammatical errors which left me just a little concerned. I have heard of requests such as this turning out to be fraudulent but most of these, as I understand it, came from Wales and not Nigeria which has a pretty much unblemished record on such matters. I myself recently sent a mere £15,000 to Prince Ouwauggergagaga to cover the cost of processing the unwanted £20 million he is going to put in my account next Monday. So I have a good experience of such requests.

I suggest you go for it. Some of those Sulmers can sell for a lot of money. If you still have any lingering doubt then send him a down payment of only £10,000 assuring him you will send the rest when the guitar arrives. Just one word of warning though. Check the bridge immediately the guitar arrives. The wrong height and it will sound like a banjo or even worse, a mandolin and you will need to return it immediately.

[Jono]

The wrong [bridge] height and it will sound like a banjo or even worse, a mandolin and you will need to return it immediately.

Ouch! Now that really is out of order - even Cabo's not usually that offensive!

[Teddy Dupont]

Ouch! Now that really is out of order - even Cabo's not usually that offensive!

Oh dear I am sorry. I just knew I should not have made that comment about Wales.

[Birrelly Niblett]

My Dear boy, please accept my belated apologies, I never did thank you for extipating me in a timely if not dignified manner from Claridges that rainy September and I praise the lord that you have your connections at the home office...of course I still insist I did not know it was filled with cream...by the by...

With regard to the Sulmer, I thought dash it all Edward is the expert...so I went all in and transferred the money into his account every man jack of it!!

I did note your sceptiscism and this is not totally unfounded as he did ask me in the first instance if I could make payment to 00.43.09 009867544 an account traced to the high st Aberystywth.

I look forward to the delivery of this fine instrument and note your comments on the bridge.....Mandolin??? god preserve us..

B