Internet Emotion

[Teddy Dupont]

This is a rather vitriolic post and I felt it necessary to censure it to prevent embarrassment to our many female and UKIP members.

Hallo Tosser,

I want u 2 no how much u get on my tits with yor no all f****** atitude. Iv red som of yor stupid posts and u no f*** all. U R just a patronating gobshite. Iv bean studying gyspy jazz 4 over 3 months now. Iv got 2 CD's and iv red the sleeve notes cover 2 cover. Iv red "Django Rhienhart - Fantasy or Fiction" by Simon Cowell and iv got a bootleg copy of "Gyspy Picking". U carnt tell me f*** all dick breth. Cocky old c**** like u give me a pain the a***. U should f*** of back 2 yor own country. I bet u f*** dogs. If i new where u lived id cum round and stick a pole up yor a***. Why dont u take a flying f*** at yorself. Eat my s*** u mother f*****.

Yours,

The Very Reverend N.O. Knob

I have included this post as I think it is a perfect example of how the internet has the unique ability to promote impassioned debate. I must confess to being just a little wounded by the Reverend's comments but in true Churchillian fashion, I shall carry on with a stiff upper lip (the only area possible at my age) and continue to advise with humility when requested.

[Caballero]

That sounds like Thrip after he's been drinking, he gets very 'animated'.

[Teddy Dupont]

A rather nice letter from Bishop Perrywinkle:-

Dear Dr Dupont,

I have been informed that one of my flock, the Very Reverend Nathaniel Orville Knob, has been writing offensive missives to you. Please accept my sincere apologies for this outrage. After that little problem with the two lesbians, we really felt he was making a good recovery.

He has spent many hours in therapy but seems totally unable to overcome the trauma of being forced to play the mandolin by a particularly sadistic priest at his prep school.

Your respectfully,

Bishop Perry Perrywinkle

Thank you Bishop. That explains everything. I am once again at peace with the world.

[Caballero]

What colour is the sky in your world?

[Teddy Dupont]

What colour is the sky in your world?

Yellow with circular viridian pulses just like everywhere else.