Anita Roddick

[Caballero]

Founder of the ground-breaking Body Shop, passed away a la Django last night. Her soothing range of rain-forest foot-balms were endorsed by gypsy-jazzers the world over. Teddy was so impressed with her dead sea facemasks, that he kept one on all the time to cover his hideous visage.

[Teddy Dupont]

I'm sorry she has died so young (or at least young to me) but I did not like her, the products she sold or her sanctimonious, preaching attitude

[Caballero]

Yeah, you raise that handbag.

[Teddy Dupont]

Yeah, you raise that handbag.

Ooooooow ducky! Keep your curlers in! - I just find it irritating that virtually everyone is beatified and their life sanitised as soon as they die almost regardless of the way they really were.

One that particularly got up my nose recently was the passing of Luciano Fatatottie (the pie man). Whilst I accept he could belt out "Just One Cornetto" with some aplomb, from what I have read in the past, he was a fully fledged rat bag most of the time.

Many years ago, I remember reading the eulogies to Laurence Olivier claiming he was a "golden man" and "truly courageous". The fact is he was a selfish arrogant bastard who was prepared to step on anyone's face to get on. And for crying out loud..... "courageous"!!!!. He was a bloody actor and "gallantly" earning more money than we could ever dream of; not a soldier facing real danger and getting paid £2.10 for it.

[Caballero]

Not like Django then, who let's face it, by all accounts was the sweetest guy you could ever want to meet, always pleasant, cheery disposition, good time-keeper and good egg to everyone. We might as well include the wonderfully charming Miles Davis, famous for his people-skills and sunny attitude. You're right Teddy, all those other dudes were grumpy, selfish gits.